No one, can honestly say that every single one of our parenting days were amazing, beautiful and just perfect; that you felt at the top of your game, always. I mean ALWAYS. No. I bet not. That’s just how it is. There are no such parenting stories. It’s a myth…it’s a lie…it’s make believe or anything else you would like to call it. Anything but the truth. Don’t fall for it.
Don’t believe that friend, that so called well-wisher, who makes you think otherwise. Stay real. Because that’s what will help us get through our good, bad and ugly days. All this unnecessary load of myth is not doing anyone any good. So let’s drop the baggage and stay real and share real stories. Stories of success and stories of failures too…
One day you will have this blissfully wonderful day with your kids, all lovey dovey and hunky dory…you know…snuggling-up in a large blanket, watching a nice movie or a home video, munching on your favourite snack, cuddling up and feeling so loved….aah…what a wonderful day!!! And your thoughts wander along the lines of…my kids are the most amazing kids in the world and I must be doing an amazing job. Well of course yes, they are amazing kids and you are one amazing mama.
But Wait. It’s not over.
The very next day or maybe a couple of days later, you have a meltdown with your kids and find them acting up so selfish and self-centred that you wonder what went wrong?
Well…nothing. Really. Nothing. That is how it is. That is life. That is parenting. Whoever said it was easy was out of his mind.
This is real too. There’s no hiding those not so good and some really bad days. Come on, whom are we kidding!!! We feel so low, so inadequate to handle whatever is in front of us and totally doubting our parenting skills. Whatever happened to that time a while back when we felt so confident, happy and ecstatic? That’s real too…and it happens to every single parent. No exceptions. None.
So, there are days that don’t go well…so be it; everyone (here everyone, basically means our dear kids of course) is in a crabby mood…so be it. There must be a good enough reason for that right. Just because they didn’t have their way with things and they look upset shouldn’t let you buckle down and let them have it. Just because you don’t want to see them unhappy or angry with you, doesn’t mean you give in. Sometimes, it’s important to teach our kids some hard life lessons, which no one else can teach them but us. We have to lay the foundation for compassionate, responsible, well-rounded human being. No one wants to deal with bratty, self-centred adults. Our society doesn’t need that and neither should we contribute to that kind of society.
Don’t let the rosy picture of parenthood fool you into thinking that only if you keep your kids smiling one hundred percent of the times, that you are doing a good job.
If your kids are mostly happy, content, get warm meals and a comfortable warm atmosphere at home, I think you are doing a great job.
If your kids are unhappy that you don’t give them 3 hours of computer time/ TV time or that you make them pick up after themselves and make them do chores around the house, let them be. That doesn’t make you a bad parent. On the contrary, you are doing an excellent job.
Keep it up warriors. You are doing your best and that should be enough. Don’t compare yourself with anyone else. Your parenting journey is nothing like anyone else’s. Your kids have got the best parent in the world tailor made for them. No one else could be a better parent to your kids than you.
So go ahead and pat yourself. Parenting is hard. It really is and you are doing a great job!